Becoming a mother for the first time is something no one can truly prepare you for. It’s both the most beautiful and the most bewildering journey you’ll ever take. You’re handed a baby, but no map - and suddenly, you’re expected to find your way through exhaustion, self-doubt, and love so fierce it almost hurts.
Recently, I asked my community on Instagram what advice they would give to themselves as new mums. Their words were filled with raw honesty, compassion, and the kind of wisdom that only comes from living through the early days of motherhood. This is what they said — what we wish we could tell the new mums we once were.
Ask for Help — You Don’t Have to Do This Alone - You are not meant to carry it all. The idea that “good mothers” do everything themselves is one of the most harmful lies we’ve been told. Ask for help, and accept it when it comes. Whether it’s your partner, your mum, your neighbour, or a professional; let people hold you as you hold your baby. Asking for help doesn’t make you weak. It makes you wise.
Protect Your Boundaries - Say no. Say “not yet.” Say “please don’t.” You don’t owe anyone access to you or your baby before you’re ready. The world can wait. You know your baby best - not social media, not your relatives, not even your well-meaning friends. Protect your peace. This is your sacred time, and your healing matters just as much as your baby’s needs.
Be Gentle With Yourself - You’ve done something extraordinary. Your body, your mind, your soul, they’re all adjusting to this new life. You don’t need to bounce back. You don’t need to prove you’re coping. Rest is recovery. Tears are release. Let yourself be held, and know that some days surviving is enough.
Let the Housework Wait - The laundry pile can grow, the dishes can sit. Your baby won’t remember a spotless home, but they’ll feel your presence. The mess is temporary; the memories are not. Lower your expectations, let go of the guilt, and save your energy for what really matters.
You Are Enough - There is no perfect mother - only real ones. You are doing your best, even when it doesn’t feel like it. You don’t need to keep up, measure up, or look like anyone else. Your baby doesn’t need a perfect mum, they need you, exactly as you are.
It Gets Easier - The fog lifts. The nights get shorter. The weight in your chest lightens. You’ll find your rhythm again, your confidence, your laughter, your spark. One day you’ll realise you’ve gone a whole afternoon without crying or Googling baby sleep regressions. That’s the day you’ll see how far you’ve come.
Take It One Day at a Time - You don’t have to plan the week, or even the day - just get through this moment. This feed. This nap. This breath. Slow down. Babies aren’t following your schedule, and that’s okay. You’ll both find your flow.
Lean on Faith - When you feel alone, whisper Bismillah and remember, Allah sees you in the stillness and the struggle. Even when your prayers are silent tears, they’re heard. Faith can anchor you in the waves of motherhood, reminding you that you are never truly alone.
Feed Without Pressure - Breast, bottle, mixed - it doesn’t matter. Fed is best, and peace is priceless. Nourish your baby in the way that works for both of you. A calm, cared-for mother is the greatest gift a child can have.
Get Fresh Air - Even five minutes outside can change everything. Step into the sunlight, breathe deeply, let the wind touch your face. The world is still turning and so are you.
Cherish the Tiny Season - It won’t last forever. The sleepless nights, the endless cuddles, the quiet 3 a.m. feeds - one day you’ll ache for them. Take photos. Take it in. The days feel long, but the years will fly.
Protect Your Mental Health - If something feels off, speak up. Postnatal depression and anxiety are not your fault, and you don’t need to suffer in silence. Help exists, and healing is possible. Talking is brave - not broken.
Nurture Your Relationship - It’s easy to lose sight of each other in the fog. Find small moments, a shared cup of tea, a hand on your shoulder, a quiet laugh in the dark. You’re building a family together. You’re a team.
Keep Perspective - Babies are resilient, and motherhood is not a race. You don’t have to have it all figured out. There’s no gold medal for doing it perfectly, just the quiet, everyday miracle of showing up with love.
To the new mum reading this: you are not alone. One day, you’ll look back and wish you could hug the woman you are right now - tired, teary, and trying her best. You’ll want to tell her, you made it. Because you will. It gets lighter. It gets easier. And you are doing better than you think.
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